same as it ever was

i have very little to report this week and y'know? that's alright! yesterday i had a big mental health assessment that i was very nervous about and i made it through! so now i can move on from that (phwew!), but a lot of my pre-established plans are coming up as well, so that's something i've got to account for. this weekend i'll have to do a lot of prep work for an art market i'll be vending at in a couple weeks, because next weekend is my 3rd anniversary with my partner. i'll need all the work time i can get to restock. so the time is now to consider-- how has "habit" looked for me so far and can i sustain this when there's a few minor bumps in the road?


in spite of my assessment, i still met ONE of my goals from last week! which i count as a big win. i made a good amount of progress on my pwp by hitting it from the final third, which was really fun! there's a bit of a shift in the energy and dynamic from the first 2/3, so it felt a bit like i was starting something fresh-- the same thing from a different angle, i guess you could say. what's more, i had fun working on it and didn't overthink quite so much, so that's great to see. perhaps most epic of all, the bath and body works candle sale came in clutch and i was able to get 5 of my favorite scent (marshmallow fireside i love you baby). that's been really invigorating since, as a reminder, my "cue" for "it's time to write" has been lighting a candle and this is even more incentive lol. i gotta smell the good smell!!

it wasn't a goal of mine, but i also wrote a few fills for threesentenceficathon, which can be found over here. it was really fun and a great way to keep my mind on writing in a low-pressure way. if you haven't written for 3SF yet, it's still going and i highly recommend tossing a fill up! it makes me miss kink memes a lot, also. it's so much fun to fill requests in a low-pressure comment setting!! 

back to goals, though. unfortunately i wasn't able to have a focus session like i planned, nor was i able to continue getting up early. i'd like to keep that going into this next week-- as such, i've only got one goal for next week so as to keep my momentum while also being aware that i have other shit to do:

•  have at least one focus-session this week. make a day of it! have some fun! make writing a priority and work on any project you'd like. i want to treat this as... well, a treat! a break from work-focused art. 

so to answer my previous question: what has habit looked like so far? lighting a candle and writing where i can, finding little pockets of my day in which to channel that energy, has been really helpful. primarily i've been writing at night when i Retire To My Chambers from hanging out with the household, essentially calling the night only a little bit early. that's been where most of my words have been written. my habit is far from consistent but i've been keeping it going, and i think that's the goal at the end of the day. so to answer that second question of is this sustainable? i think so, as long as i continue to be respectful of where my time is needed elsewhere. balancing that with treating writing as a priority is going to be the continuing challenge, but writing has continued to be on my mind in an active way. and so far? i think that's a success. treating myself with grace and a lack of judgement if i can't write every day, if i only write once a week even, is an essential piece to this. as i said in a previous post-- where has shame gotten me, anyway?

but enough about me, tell me about you! what have you been writing this week? do you find it difficult to pick something back up when you've had to put it down due to Life Happening? is it more motivating to write something for someone else rather than for yourself? i'd really like to hear your perspective on this!

first, let's start with my findings from last week. i've got a little list of projects, some more pressing than others (more on that in a moment). in writing about these ideas, i already had inspo for more fics and original work! so the theory that concepts were just lingering beneath the surface was true! you love to see it. groundbreaking discovery: creative thought begets more creative thought! i wrote 4 days this week, which is more than i thought i would! 3 of those days were journaling and 1 day was chipping away at a twisted wonderland pwp i've had in my drafts for a while (floyd/riddle for those that go there). i made minimal progress but i'm taking any sort of increment as a win! i want to be more self-compassionate and curious-- where has shame gotten me anyway besides endless rumination and creatively stagnating?

which brings us to what a habit might look for me. my strategy right now is to scientific method this-- see what works, what doesn't, and what hangs in the balance between. i'm an extrovert and will always choose time with friends over solo activities, and writing is very solo for me due to my inability to focus with even the smallest sounds or visual noise. so my mindset shift here (trickery, one might call it) is to remind myself that by writing, i'm privately preparing for a larger hangout. which is true! i've made connections and want to talk about what i'm working on with this community. so with that in mind, i'll describe in my bullet points below what my first attempt at habit-building will be.

now you may be wondering at this point-- spankhorn, what's this "first test" you keep talking about? well, you see, i'm an artist as a "second job" and my first obligations of the new year popped up this weekend: i got accepted into an art market next month and got accepted into a gallery exhibit that will be taking place in march. which is so exciting! but it also means that i'm reminded of the thing that has prevented me from developing a writing "habit"-- i have MANY other hobbies and creative pursuits. so i have to be careful with not over-extending myself and realistically integrating my writing practice into an already busy life. so wish me luck in my ventures!!

this brings us to my goals for this week:

• outline my assignment for rare femslash exchange. that pressing project i mentioned earlier? this is it. i did canon review over the weekend and my ideas are sparse but i woke up with a starting point and that in itself is exciting to me. i have to remember that creative thought begets more creative thought-- not to sound like an instagram art influencer but Trust The Process!

• get 100 more words down on that pwp! i've never written smut before so it's a bit of a challenge, and compounds on my usual dilemma of wondering "am i doing Writing right?". but i really like what i've got and know that i can do it since the basic outline is there and just waiting to be fleshed out. in the wise words of shane madej-- i've connected the dots, i've connected them (but future tense).

• explore that first experiment with writing habit. i've read that doing something consistently to "cue" you toward your habit can help trigger your brain to know it's time to do that thing. so i've been lighting a little candle while i work and that's been nice, we'll see if this pavlov situation works out lol. as far as Timing goes, i'm going to try first to write physical notes during my lunch break at work and then transcribe them in the evening time-- see where that takes me. i used to do this years ago but fell out of it when i stopped riding the bus everywhere. i think it can still benefit me, though! my friend militarypenguin reminded me of the power of longhand writing and i think i'm gonna give it a shot again. it's sure helped with outlines!

how was last week for you writing-wise-- what projects have you been working on? how do you handle it when a new idea comes up when you're working on something-- do you chase the new idea or do you persist on your current project? does writing feel like a solo hobby to you, or do you take part in group writing events; maybe a mix of both? thank you for replying to my posts and chatting with me, it's been so encouraging! i can't wait to hear from you and hear what's going on in the life!! would love to hear about it all!